Tools & Support

Your Quick Guide to Shameproofing.

Recognize it. Respond to it. Replace cruelty with empathy.

What Shame, Bullying & Exclusion Can Look Like

In Person

  • Name-calling, mocking, exclusion, gossip circles.

  • Public humiliation, subtle power plays, social sabotage

Online

  • Harassing DMs or comments

  • Cancel pile-ons, viral mockery, doxxing

  • Being left out of group chats or tagged as a joke

At School or Work

  • Intimidation, isolation, “joking” cruelty

  • Unfair treatment, whisper campaigns

  • Shaming disguised as feedback

Why It Hurts

  • Shame doesn’t just sting—it sticks.

  • It tells people they’re not just wrong, but worth less.

  • Victims may develop anxiety, depression, low self-worth.

  • Bystanders feel helpless, unsafe, and mentally drained.

  • Over time, internalized shame can silence people completely.

What Actually Helps

✅ Fair, Enforced Policies
Rules matter—but only when they're followed and applied consistently.

✅ Empathy + Digital Literacy
Kindness is teachable. So is learning how to scroll with care, not cruelty.

✅ Empowered Bystanders
Most people want to help—but they need tools, scripts, and courage to act.

✅ Safe Support Systems
Peers. Teachers. Counselors. Safe corners online and off. Every piece matters.

✅ Digital Boundaries
Blocking, reporting, logging off when needed. Tech can protect too.

With layered, community-based support, bullying can be reduced by up to 20%, and empathy spreads in its place.

Examples of Preventive Programs (Empathy Boosters)

1. Roots  of  Empathy (a Toronto-based non-profit) brings a two‑ to four‑month‑old infant (and parent) into classrooms for nine guided visits over a school year, letting kids see the world through a baby’s eyes. Rigorous evaluations—including a cluster randomized trial in Manitoba—found nearly a 50 percent drop in both overt bullying and subtle relational aggression, alongside lasting boosts in sharing, respect and emotional literacy that persisted for over three years Wikipedia. Schools across Canada, the U.S. and beyond have since replicated these results, proving you can systematically nurture kindness at scale.

Read the original article: Fighting Bullying with Babies

2. Take bullying global—meet KiVa.
Born at the University of Turku and backed by Finland’s Ministry of Education, KiVa is the world’s most researched anti‑bullying program. Through a blend of interactive lessons and online games, focused intervention tools, and annual school‑wide surveys, it prevents bullying before it starts, stops ongoing incidents effectively, and keeps everyone informed—proven in large randomized trials to deliver lasting drops in aggression KiVa Program.

Learn more: What is KiVa?

3. Spark a positive mindset—harness Positive Action.
Built on the Thoughts‑Actions‑Feelings cycle, this PreK‑12 SEL curriculum systematically boosts self‑concept, social skills and resilience. Peer‑reviewed RCTs in Hawaii and Chicago demonstrated significant reductions in bullying and other problem behaviors, alongside measurable gains in attendance and academic performance—outcomes you can model locally via their Impact Indicator tool positiveaction.netpositiveaction.net.


Discover more: Positive Action

🧰 Real Tools to Shameproof with

Here are some free, accessible tools for teens, parents, and educators:

👥 For Teens

  • Crisis Text Line (Global)
    Text 📱 SHOUT to 85258 (UK)
    Text HELLO to 741741 (US/Canada)
    crisistextline.org

  • Jigsaw (Ireland)
    For mental health support and anti-bullying resources aimed at young people in Ireland, visit https://jigsaw.ie/

  • Child Helpline International (Global)
    Find your country's youth support line
    childhelplineinternational.org

👨‍👩‍👧 For Parents & Guardians

📚 For Teachers & Educators

🎨 Empowerment Through Design

Use shameproofing visuals, words, and wearable messaging as tools to:

  • Start hard conversations

  • Show allyship in subtle, powerful ways

  • Remind others (and yourself): Being human isn’t wrong.

Browse Empowering Designs →

🌱 You’re Not Alone — and Neither Are They

Every act of kindness, every boundary held, every word that says “you matter” makes an impact.
Together, we’re rewriting what strength looks like—and how shame ends.

Shameproof your story.

Help someone else shameproof theirs.